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Jimmy Kimmel pulled no punches in his Oscars opening monologue, poking fun at several Hollywood topics during Sunday’s ceremony.
Kimmel, who is hosting for the fourth time, congratulated the audience for “arriving on time. The show will start an hour early this year, but will be very, very late. We’re already five minutes late and I’m not even kidding,” he said.
The comedian poked fun at the recent box office failure of “Madame Web” and said, “It was also a great year for movies, even though everything stopped. The people in this room somehow managed to create so many great films and memorable performances. “Tonight is full of enormous talent and untold potential, but so was ‘Madam Webb.’”
She also joked about “Barbie” director Greta Gerwig not getting a best director nomination, saying, “Barbie is now a feminist icon, thanks to Greta Gerwig, who many believed deserved to be nominated for best director tonight.” . She waits a second. I know you’re applauding her, but by the way, you’re the ones who didn’t vote for her. “Don’t act like you had nothing to do with this.”
Kimmel also talked about Robert Downey Jr.’s redemption story in Hollywood, saying he’s at “one of the highest points of his career.” After the actor touched his nose in acknowledgement, Kimmel said, “Was that too much on the nose or was that a drug move you did? Look at him, he’s so handsome, so talented, he’s won every award there is to win. Is it an acceptance speech in your pocket or do you just have a very rectangular penis? 20 years ago, Robert played the villain, correct me if I’m wrong, in a movie where Tim Allen turns into a dog, right? And if you ever decide to remake that movie, I have the perfect man to play Tim Allen. I mean, where is he? Messi. Although he is a dog, he may have given the performance of the year in ‘Anatomy of a Fall’. He has an overdose scene. He had not seen a French actor vomit like that since Gérard Depardieu.”
Before the ceremony, Kimmel spoke about the difficulty of narrowing down pop culture goals for the big night.
“I have three times more material than I need,” he said. “I have to decide what to cut and what to keep. That’s hard because you fall in love with the jokes and then you hate cutting them. You know you have a good show when you tell good jokes.”
Kimmel also hosted last year’s Oscars and made headlines for joking about Will Smith slapping Chris Rock at the 2022 ceremony.
“We want you to have fun, feel safe, and most importantly, we want me to feel safe,” Kimmel told the star-studded audience. “Therefore, we have strict policies in place. If anyone in this theater commits an act of violence at any time during the show, they will be awarded the Oscar for best actor and allowed to give a 19-minute long speech. But seriously, the academy has a crisis team. If something unpredictable or violent happens during the show, sit there and do absolutely nothing. Maybe even give the bully a hug.”