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Who needs the pressure of packing all your love (and flowers and chocolates) on a Wednesday in February?
This is the perfect year to ditch Valentine’s Day and opt for a less pressure-filled holiday. It’s time to embrace Galentine’s Day.
Born from the ancient and mystical comedy “Parks and Recreation”, the episode “Galentine’s Day” first issued on February 11, 2010. It features Amy Poehler’s character, Leslie, as she navigates through a day of disappointments in her love life: trying to set her mother up on what turns out to be a bad date and dealing with with his own partner’s problems. rude behavior. She rebels against the traditional Valentine’s Day and invents a day to rejoice with her friends and celebrate herself.
Maybe you are one of the most one third of American women that are not associated. Or if so, maybe you’re tired of being with his partner 24/7 and would rather pretend he’s single.
Galentine’s Day, which falls the day before Valentine’s Day, is for you.
The tradition, which has grown from a one-off television season to a commercially viable and widely practiced holiday, usually includes having lunch with your girlfriends. A large amount of alcohol is generally recommended.
Whether you’re drinking with your girls, trying to get a minute to yourself with a full house, or looking lonely this Valentine’s Day, it’s not a bad idea to look inward after such a challenging few years and direct some love and tender care to yourself.
“Loving yourself is the most important element of having a healthy relationship,” said Rachel DeAlto, a dating and relationship expert based in the New York metropolitan area. “Start looking at who in your life is not cheering you up. Of course, self-love is an inside job, but too often we let those around us affect our confidence and feelings of self-worth.”
It can be difficult to love yourself when you’re told to, but you can start by imagining yourself as a separate person, according to Lauren Cook, a Los Angeles-based clinical psychologist, speaker, and author.
“Just as you might give someone a Valentine’s gift, write them a heartfelt card, or spend quality time together, take these practices inward,” she said via email. “We often don’t treat ourselves as well as we treat others, and Valentine’s Day is a great opportunity to really think about how we can practice self-love and self-compassion.”
To love yourself more truly and deeply, it is useful to try to get rid of all those layers of social conditioning that have accumulated on us throughout life and that strip away our ability to love ourselves for who we are, without judgment, doubt and Self-awareness.
“Recognize that you were born loving yourself. Babies know they are fierce and beautiful, they don’t need validation for that,” said Damon L. Jacobs, a New York-based relationship and family therapist.
To deepen your self-love, according to Jacobs, learn who you are by spending quality time alone and engaging in activities that bring you joy, satisfaction, and deepen reflection. And there is a positive side. “Once you’re nurturing attention and energy toward yourself at those levels, you literally become an attractive magnet for others,” she said.
Practice “unlearning” by actively focusing on your positive attributes and not the negative ones we so often get stuck on. That will help retrain your brain to lean on your kindest thoughts about yourself and encourage deeper self-worth.
Additionally, there is what Jacobs calls focusing on what is “evidence-based,” or what others might consider perspective.
“Allow your feelings about yourself to be determined by the evidence of your life, not by the biased opinions of your critical voice,” Jacobs said.
Focus on the good things you experienced, the good deeds you committed, the ways you helped others.
“If you want to feel love, then do loving things,” he said.
In a world that can sometimes feel sorely lacking in love and kindness, there is no better advice than that.
hope allison is a native New York writer who prefers humor to sadness, travel to television, and coffee to sleep. This story was first published in 2021 and has been updated.
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