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Samantha Ruth Prabhu is a force to be reckoned with. In it India Conclave Today 2024, the actress spoke about making her way in the Indian film industry, battling myositis, her successful career and the struggles that come with it. She was part of a session called ‘The splendid Miss Samantha: From Pushpa to family man, carving out her own niche’.
Excerpts from the conversation:
SAMANTHA TURNED 14 YEARS IN THE CINEMA
It took me 14 years to be on this stage. 14 years seems like a long time. Sometimes when you do the things you love, 14 years fly by. I don’t remember that girl, she was a scared little puppy willing to please everyone. I operated from a place of fear for a long time. My resources were limited. My fear of failure drove me for a long time. I don’t even know if I would have operated from a place of love and been able to achieve what I’ve achieved now.
It changed recently. When I got sick, I realized that fear motivated me, but it also destroyed me. With life throwing me this curveball, I thought, why me? Having been through this ordeal for almost two years, I wouldn’t have it any other way.
ON THE FIGHT AGAINST AUTOIMMUNE DISORDER
I was part of the hustle culture. You can never ask me to take a break. I’m doing about 10 things a day. I sleep five hours and am productive. This was my attitude. I never gave my body and mind a break. 14 years, to be honest, were some of the unhappy years. I suffered from imposter syndrome. I was afraid that one day, when I woke up, he would disappear. During the highest moments of my career, I couldn’t enjoy them because of my syndrome.
I never attributed successes to myself and always attributed them to someone else. The feeling of ‘I have arrived’ is subjective. I have finally given myself permission to be my authentic self. This is when I feel like I’ve arrived.
ON GOING PUBLIC WITH MYOSITIS
They forced me to make my disorder public. At that time, I was planning to release my women-centric film. I was very sick at that time. It was difficult and I wasn’t ready. There was all kinds of speculation and misinformation was spread. The producers needed me to promote it, otherwise it (the film) would just die.
So I agreed to do an interview. Obviously I didn’t look the same. I received high doses of medications to keep me stable. I was forced to do it. If I had the choice, I wouldn’t have come out to announce it.
The public called me queen of sympathy. My journey as an actor, as a human being, has evolved a lot. Early in my career, I was anxious and would look (online) for nasty articles and what was written about me. As more people accused me of things, I began to almost question every question, every thought of mine. They have forced me to become the person I can be proud of.
When people go through a lot of pain, they need a portal to project it. And social media is that portal, I guess. I really believe that.
ABOUT HIS PERFORMANCE IN ‘OO ANTAVA’ AND ‘FAMILY MAN’
The decision to make ‘Oo Antava’ from ‘Pushpa’ is similar to the reason I made ‘Family Man’. The good thing is that I didn’t have to ask many people. The decision for ‘Oo Antava’ came from the fact that I wanted to explore. I was never confident in my sexuality. I always thought that I am not pretty nor do I have low confidence. It was a huge challenge, because sexy is not my thing.
What I have grown as an actor is that I have put myself in difficult circumstances and I fight to overcome them. It’s like I’m killing these inner demons. Many asked me how I can throw a punch when I am so small. And I say, I’ll show you.
‘Citadel’ was the most difficult for me because I shot it in the most exhausting circumstances. Now I can say that I am very proud of myself.
When asked if he would do a ‘theme song’ again, he said: ‘No, it doesn’t challenge me anymore.’
“The lyrics of ‘Oo Antava’ did not sexualize women. I made sure of that. I think we can stop judging for wanting to look good. We can do it all,” she said.
He was also asked to choose between ‘Oo Antava’ and ‘Family Man’. Samantha chose Raji, her character from ‘Family Man’.
ABOUT HIS CHARACTER IN ‘FAMILY MAN’
I felt very responsible while playing Raji because it was based on real incidents. I’m so sorry if he hurt anyone. There were many cases where this hit the mark and became all too real. If I am going to accept another role, this one should give me this satisfaction.
ON TAKING A BREAK AND WAITING FOR ‘THAT’ PAPER
I accepted many roles, some of them were bland. I was on all the posters. Actresses think that they cannot take breaks due to their short lifespan. Even here, as I sit today, I’ll hold on until I get that project. I have taken a break for a year. There is this fear and challenge that maybe I am out of sight, out of mind. Maybe it’s not relevant anymore.
I have to overcome this fear and just hold on and wait for that miracle role. I have to overcome the fear of being old news. I’ll wait.