Jim Gaffigan on being a bourbon fan

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Part of me can’t believe I’m about to say this, but I like bourbon. I don’t know if that means I’m an old man or just an alcoholic.

Enjoying hard liquor is new to me. I’ve always been a beer guy. In the past, when a friend would say, “Let’s have a scotch or a whiskey,” I’d think, “Well, I guess we could pretend we’re in a Tennessee Williams play.”

but now I as Bourbon. “Like” is how far you can go with your enthusiasm for any alcohol. If you are passionate, it seems you have a problem. If I said: “I love bourbon,” he might as well be announcing, “I need help.”

I guess that’s why people use the term “hobbyist.” When someone says, “I’m a bourbon aficionado,” it probably means they drink too much bourbon.

My wife and I occasionally drink a bourbon. each night. Sharing a glass of bourbon together gives us the opportunity to reconnect as a couple and try to forget that we have children.

When I recently did some shows in Louisville, I stayed at a hotel that had a store in the lobby that sold primarily bourbon. The store also sold glassware and bourbon-related paraphernalia, but the reason there were groups of smiling 60-year-old men walking around was probably the bourbon

I decided to surprise my wife by buying her a couple bottles of bourbon. Don’t tell me I’m not romantic! After the cashier wrapped the last bottle in bubble wrap as if it were a precious historical artifact, she casually mentioned, “I don’t know if this is a big deal, but this bottle of bourbon costs $1,100. Does that matter?”

I thought, “Well, not if it includes the factory.”

Does it matter? Only if my children hope to go to college.

It should have been an easy answer. Nobody needs a $1,100 bottle of bourbon.

I didn’t buy that bottle of bourbon, but part of me felt like I deserved it. Parenting is That’s how difficult.

I guess I wanted that bottle of bourbon for my wife… and me. And for our children. I mean, because of our children.

I’m a bourbon fan.


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Story produced by Lucie Kirk. Editor: Chad Cardín.


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