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Regina King at the Oscars 2024
Aliah Anderson/Getty Images
Regina King is opening up about her son Ian Alexander Jr.’s death by suicide more than two years ago.
Talking with Good morning americaRobin Roberts, in an interview that aired on Thursday, King spoke about Alexander Jr’s “choice” to die and the “journey” he has experienced while mourning his only son.
“When it comes to depression, people expect him to look a certain way and seem heavy,” King said of Alexander Jr.’s struggles. “Having to experience this and not being able to have time to just sit with Ian’s choice, which I respect and understand, that he did not want to be here anymore. “That’s a hard thing for other people to receive because they didn’t live our experience, they didn’t live Ian’s journey.”
“I was so angry at God,” she said. “Why would Ian be given that weight? Of all the things we had been through with therapy, with psychiatrists and programs, Ian said, ‘I’m tired of talking, Mom.'”
Two years after Alexander Jr’s death, King is still grieving.
“I’m a different person now than I was on Jan. 19 (before Alexander Jr. died),” he said. “Grief is a journey. I understand that pain is a love that has nowhere to go. I know it is important for me to honor Ian in the totality of who he is, to talk about him in the present, because he is always with me and with the joy and happiness that he gave us all.”
And she added: “What I like most about me is being Ian’s mother. And I can’t say that with a smile, with tears, with all the emotion that entails. “I can’t do that if I didn’t respect the journey.”
King, who fought back tears during the talk, said: “Sometimes I get a lot of guilt. When a parent loses a child, you still wonder, ‘What could he have done to prevent that from happening?’ I know I share this pain with everyone, but no one else is Ian’s mom, you know? Just me. Then he is mine. And the sadness will never go away. He will always be with me. And I think I saw somewhere that sadness is a reminder of how much he means to me, you know?
Roberts also revealed King’s subtle tribute to Alexander Jr during the 2024 Oscars, where she wore an orange dress, Alexander Jr.’s favorite color. And noted that King said he still felt his son’s presence in moments of “Ian-spirations.” .
King can next be seen as pioneering Congresswoman Shirley Chisholm in the Netflix biopic. shirleywhich will arrive on the streamer on March 22 and is dedicated to Alexander Jr.
King paid tribute to Alexander Jr on what would have been his 27th birthday last year.
“January 19 is Ian’s day. While we still process his physical absence, we celebrate his presence,” King wrote in an Instagram post at the time. “We are all in different places on the planet… Ian too. His spirit is the thread that connects us.”