Sex therapist reveals 6 signs that you are bad in bed | Top Vip News

Sex and relationships

By Tracy Swartz

Let’s talk about sex, honey, and why you’re bad at it.

Sexual and relationship psychotherapist Miranda Christophers, founder of UK-based counseling service The Therapy Yardshares the six signs you suck in bed, from a lack of arrogance to a run-of-the-mill routine.

“People can’t be ‘good’ in bed (relaxed, engaged, immersed) if they feel judged or emotionally insecure.” Christophers told the Daily Mail this week as he offers a half-dozen clues as to why there’s sadness in his bedroom.

you lack confidence

“When you lack confidence in your body, you don’t feel free to be open or spontaneous, so you’re less receptive,” explains Christophers. “You might insist on having sex in the dark or under the covers. It can be helpful to focus on what you like and what makes you feel good.”

Christophers advises lighting music or candles to set the mood, while Men’s Journal recommends 11 techniques to increase self-esteem, such as preparing for possible obstacles and visualizing sexual success.

You are easily distracted

“Good sex is… about being connected: getting lost in the pleasure of it, without even thinking about your next move, as if you were dancing together,” Christophers declares.

self suggests practicing mindfulness – training The brain to focus on the present. — every day and bring that mindset into the bedroom.

You are embarrassed to talk about sex with your partner

Vanessa Marin, author of the 2023 book “Sex Talks: The Five Conversations That Will Transform Your Love Life,” recommends starting the discussion with a compliment.

“It could be something really tame like, ‘You look good today,’ or ‘Your eyes are really beautiful.’ You can also offer some kind of compliment about the connection you feel.” Marín told the New York Times last year.

She shared that sexual struggles often come from poor communication.

Christophers notes that it’s important to check with your partner about your desires and continue to follow up because those preferences can evolve over time.

You don’t change your routine

A Portuguese study published last year in the Journal of Sexual Medicine found that men tend to report higher levels of sexual boredom in long-term relationships compared to women.

Good+Good has five tips to get into a new groove, which includes scheduling sex and adding fantasy to the formula.

Your partner just doesn’t like it that much.

“Consent means that both partners want to have sex equally. But there are many reasons why desire levels vary,” Christophers reasons. “If you prefer sex in the morning and your partner prefers it at night, you need to talk about this and find something that works for both of you.”

You feel shame if you don’t ‘act’

Sexual performance anxiety affects 9% to 25% of men (contributing to premature ejaculation) and 6% to 16% of women (inhibiting sexual desire). a 2019 study found.

Christophers advises relieving the pressure by focusing on your own physical sensations, rather than just your partner’s enjoyment.