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Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce are adorable, or are they embarrassing? They are beautiful… or repulsive? Do they give you hope or make you feel more alone than ever?
When happy couples hold hands, share a kiss, make heart hands and even more so, people on the sidelines form opinions about their interactions. Some are positive and supportive. But often people judge and have negative thoughts while watching a happy couple be, well, happy. Because?
“She’s a woman who supports her boyfriend, just like he supported her,” said one Swiftie mom. he wrote in a public Facebook post.. “Maybe it’s love that lasts, maybe it’s not, but can’t we hope and be happy for someone else’s happiness?”
Experts say your vision of happy couples, like Swift and Kelce, can reveal a lot more about you than the couple in question.
“Our tendency to be happy for others or to feel jealous is strongly related to how we live our lives and our relationships in the present,” he says. Miranda Nadeauqualified psychologist.
Taylor Swift, Travis Kelce and finding joy in ‘Swelce’
Maybe you’re one of those people who can’t stop gushing about Swelce or a couple closer to home.
“The way people react to seeing the joy and happiness of others is very revealing,” he says. maryanne fisher, professor of psychology at St. Mary’s University in Canada. “Some people are genuinely happy to see the happiness of others (including celebrities).” You may feel “freudenfreude,” or “a vicarious experience of another person’s joy; think of the opposite of schadenfreude, where one derives pleasure from another person’s misfortunes,” Fisher adds.
If you’re a Swiftie, you might feel this more pronounced. “The effect is likely to increase when we feel a connection to the person involved, which fans can certainly experience with celebrities,” Fisher says. “Sharing joy has all kinds of positive effects; it makes us believe that things are positive and good, and relatedly, it decreases stress and the associated hormone cortisol.”
Are you ‘unconsciously projecting’?
On the other hand: do you feel bitter?
“It could arise from distaste for one’s own life; for example, secretly thinking that one’s relationship is unsatisfactory may lead one to feel deep-seated envy toward those who express affection, and this envy may present itself as low-grade anger, or disgust. “Fisher says. You may also experience fear of never finding her love or fear of betrayal by a now distracted friend.
Dig deeper:Taylor Swift’s jokes have gotten crude. Have we learned nothing?
It’s easy to see yourself in other people, especially when they’re as famous as Swift and Kelce, who probably don’t have any connections in your life beyond the parasocial. Maybe you’re a Swiftie, but you’re in one of your sad girl phases.
“Many people may be unconsciously projecting,” he says. Cecilia Ahrens, licensed clinical social worker. “We often project our fears and desires onto the world. We also tend to displace our feelings, our unmet needs, and our grievances onto the wrong people. (Swift and Kelce) are great targets for these defense mechanisms.”
These reactions could also mean that you are living with a scarcity or abundance mentality. “With a scarcity mentality, we may believe on some level that happiness or love is finite and limited, and that the fact that someone else is happy means that we ourselves are much more unlikely to experience similar joy,” says Nadeau. . Social or financial circumstances can affect the way you see the world and cause this attitude.
Regarding an abundance mentality: “We are more likely to be happy for others in their satisfaction,” adds Nadeau. “There is no threat to us or our pursuit of love and satisfaction. And it is much easier to be happy for others when we ourselves maintain loving, generous and exciting relationships.”
It’s cuffing season.Don’t jump into a relationship just because it’s here.
Or maybe it’s not so serious
It’s possible to oscillate between feelings (starting to accept others’ love stories even when you’re jealous), although adjusting your thinking is easier said than done. “Still, we can deepen our sense of what we have in our lives and grow our abundance mindset by practicing gratitude,” Nadeau says. “Feeling a deep appreciation for what we already have helps us want the best for others too.”
Your feelings may also not indicate any kind of deeper trauma that you need to overcome.
“Someone who doesn’t really care about someone might just think it’s nice to see happy people and leave it at that,” Fisher says. “Also, we must remember that it can also mean that they really didn’t like the person to begin with, and the change of events has simply given them a way to express this displeasure. It’s hard to believe, but not everyone likes him. a “Swiftie.”
Oh really:Taylor Swift’s jokes have gotten crude. Have we learned nothing?
